having a boyfriend is embarrassing
- 7 days ago
- 2 min read
or is it something deeper?
is having a boyfriend embarrassing? or is it assisting in deplenishing your own self-worth that is embarrassing?
it is easy to point at our partner/situationship to be the root of our unhappiness, to decide they are the reason for our sadness.
what is harder is asking yourself the question:
why am i still here?
it is not embarrassing to be open to love, to be honest, or to be let down. being disrespected is not embarrassing…
willingly microdosing disrespect is embarrassing.
excusing your own pain to exist with another is embarrassing.
& by embarrassing, i mean to the authentic nature within you.
it is sad to blatantly deny yourself.
you are worthy of an authentic love.
you are worthy of a love that in loving them, you are loving yourself.
the actions of another are not personal to you until you make it personal by giving it the stamp of approval, your presence.
know that this stamp can always be revoked, it is never too late to choose you.
when someone does not see the true beauty of your love and make an intent to cherish it, that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
your worth is innate.
by brushing under the rug your own boundaries, happiness, and fulfillment, you rewire your ability to love and choose yourself willingly.
loving another becomes denying yourself.
your light is always shining; it is up to you on whether or not to uncover the habits you have smothered over it for so long.
do not take this as a source for self-hatred but as a source for self-revival.
for you did not know then what you know now, and the fact that it repulses you to repeat an old pattern is proof of your growth and an occasion to celebrate.
you were doing your best for your perceived capability for joy, but you know better now.
sometimes we cannot name our pain, so it comes out in a need for partnership, feeling as if being chosen will heal all the shadows in our beings.
your shadows are not meant to be hidden but meant to be pursued.
you transmute your shadows into light by grasping the lessons, grasping the pain, and allowing your true feelings to be addressed.
as you put it into practice, denying what does not align with your peace becomes the most intoxicating addiction of all.
may you allow self-love to be the guiding light in your life.
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beauty is all around and within you.
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